Living with the Angels!!

It is the 7th April 2016, and its my eldest daughters birthday.


She would be a young woman of 22 today.

I wonder what she would look like now ?

I wonder what type of job she would have now ?

I wonder if she would be in a relationship now ?

I wonder…

I wonder…

I wonder…

The hole inside me is infinite. They say time is a healer, but i wouldn’t say I’m healed!

Even now as i write, the emotion is still so raw.

The lump in my throat is increasing, my eyes are saturated, my heart is longing, but i know deep down she is watching over me!

When she passed away, they sent a black car to collect her instead of the usual black private ambulance. I remember carrying her in my arms from the house to the undertakers car, and we sat her in the back seat as if she was sleeping, put on her seat belt and one of the undertakers sat next to her. I think that was the most difficult thing i have ever done.

I have great memories in my head, which i’m so grateful my brain injury has not impaired these.

Today i’m going to share a copy of a note which i read to her before i placed it in her denim pocket at the Chapel of Rest.


I have kept a copy of this note since that day, in my wallet along with a photo (as above) and one of her mauve hair bands, she had the most gorgeous auburn hair, which in the summer used to have natural blonde highlights.

So to some people a brain injury is devastating !!

To me it isn’t !!

Loosing my daughter was and still is !!

Thanks for reading. Bye for now!

I’m off now to go and place a basket of flowers made by my mum at the church, I probably take my dog, Prince, for some talk free company!

12 thoughts on “Living with the Angels!!

  1. My heart goes out to you mate. I remember you stopping to talk to her at 3am in the morning at the cemetary, when we were on our way to Amsterdam a couple of years after. I realised then the extent your sad loss had on you. Thinking of you at this sad time mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing Dean. Your writing is so honest it brought tears to my eyes.
    I watched a documentary with Prof Brian Cox who said that whenever someone is born their energy shifts the earth’s energy simply by their existence. And that when someone dies their energy still exists because energy cannot just disappear once it’s existed. It just moves into different forms. So your daughter’s energy still exists on earth because she was once part of it. Her energy is still with you…….Thank you again for such a beautiful post.

    Liked by 1 person

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